Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize