There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
