My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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