Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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