Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
