Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
