Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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