We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
