Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
