I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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