everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
