i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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