Is it normal to miss your booty call?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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