He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
