I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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