i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
