I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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