Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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