Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
