To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
