Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
