It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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