bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
