Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
