I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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