I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
