I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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