Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
