i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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