he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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