You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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