theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
