i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
