I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
