I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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