i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
