I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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