He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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