So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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