my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
