Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
