how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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