Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize