who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
