and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
