Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
