you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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