Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
