He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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