Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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