Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
