Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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