Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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