i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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