some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
where are my eyebrows?
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