I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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