Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
