Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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