and she was petting her beer can
time to smoke my breakfast
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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