I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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