What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
