I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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