Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
