i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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