Don't you send me to vm
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
